Lost

For 2 months without an update, I am starting to wonder if there’s any people who really are following this blog of mine.

She saw your penis

She saw your penis

It’s been awhile I’ve been talking about myself. So what should I tell? Hmm, not like I am gonna say anything tho. Because there are nothing interesting to begin with. Oh, perhaps you find that it is interesting to know that I’ve lost interesting with everything. Everything. While that’s kinda exaggerating but I am currently selling off my figurines and whatever I have. Hmm, there are several things that I don’t think people would buy from me tho like my OreImo Bluray collection, haha.

I might have been watching some anime series and reading manga on weekly basis but just that. As usual, there are fewer titles that could really attract me on looking at them. Recently I just finished watching Natsuiro Kiseki. A pretty normal anime about some school girls and some stone that could give their wishes come true. Initially, I watched it because of Sphere girls who became their seiyuu. Gradually, I grow fond of these characters without even me realizing. When the story ends at the 12th episode, I’ve got this feeling that I never had for a long time. The feeling of sadness of something good that ended nicely.

I seldom gets such feeling. Heck, even with my favorites like K-On! and OreImo, I never experienced the similar notion to that of Natsuiro Kiseki. Sometimes I wonder what’s the chemistry there that could make me feel melancholic? To make it look funny, I totally forgot the titles of anime that I watched several years ago that gave the same feeling like this. Maybe something like Mahoraba or Midori no Hibi tho later on these two anime got better storyline in their manga sides.

In a way, the feeling of emptiness when everything is over. What I mean by over is when I no longer have a specific interest with something that I adored so much previously. The feelings went to nothingness and there’s this gap hole in my heart. A big gap hole. Sounds cheesy but that’s what I feel. I guess. I am out of words to describe the situation. But I think it’s more like I am mentally retarded to produce some quality sentences, tehe.

I believe I can pinpoint things that make me feel like this. But I am not really sure of myself. I am still with my musical affection. My guitar. Although it’s widely known that my skill doesn’t do better after more than a year of playing it. I should’ve taken classes but maybe because my initial intention for not taking it seriously made the interest ended up like this.

I kept looking back at what I wrote above. Because I have no idea what exactly I’ve been writing for all this time. I also kept wondering what kind of picture should I put to accompany with this post. To be honest, this entry has been in this state of draft for almost 2 months too. Of course, within these 2 months a lot of things happened. Trying not to bring up the Eid festive days much since it’s nothing anyway.

Hmm, I think it’s enough to say that people made me changed. Not just one. Several. Although a fraction of my thoughts, rather, my feeling, has already waiting for me to give up on these boring stuffs. Grow up! Move on! Whatever… Oh, most of my stuffs have been sold. My figurines, that is. At such low prices, I could easily get some buyers. But I am still wondering what am I gonna do with all these books and magazines. I don’t think any library would take these magazines, hahaha.

Apart from all these things that I’ve been thinking, I took some time to write this as I was trying to observe myself. Like I said earlier, this might be some usual exaggeration of mine. I am trying not to be emotional. Deep down in my heart, I am still liking these Japanese stuffs. I even tried to catch up with series that I missed but sometimes, the feeling died just like that. Ha, I’ve even beginning to wonder how many ‘but’ were used before in previous paragraphs.

You see, I’ve been told to ‘be myself’ and to ‘show my true self.’ Little that people know by saying that, you’re actually can make things worsen. I am an asshole, pervert and sarcastic. By applying these traits of mine, I don’t think many people would like on things that I do. In the end, I have to observe and follow things that actually pleased some people.

Back during my childhood days, I was a rather talkative boy. Being punished by standing on top of my school desk was nothing to me. Not forgetting that I had to walk like a duck around the class or even running several laps around the school field. Being nostalgic about school punishment, aye? As I grew up and then attended universities, I started to talk less unless if I had to. Even when I feel down, I seldom share it much. Yeah, I used to write things, a lot of things, in my previous blogs. Just look at my blog now.

And, I don’t know if I actually write anything much. Most of this gibberish writings lead to nowhere. How should I go on with the life? What will gonna be happen to this blog of mine?

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